Life This Season

 This blog has gone quiet for several weeks and so instead of continuing straight back into my previous series, I thought I’d pause to catch up on what the Lord has been teaching me and revealing to me in some very important recent life events.

I think it’s just in the last few weeks that God has shown me and taken me on the journey of what it really means to be a shepherd and a church worker in a region where everything depends very much on just you and your husband. I thought I knew what hard work was over summer, but when the University Freshers season hit this September, the work has really begun and I’ve started to see the difficulties, challenges and sacrifices that have to be made in a way that I have never experienced before. The Lord has taught me that to be married to someone in a position of leadership over a church branch and who desires a Pastoral ministry means that those marriages won’t be the same as other marriages. For example, I went into marriage thinking that perhaps every Friday night would be date night, however when it comes to it every Friday night is prayer night to intercede for the church here. Don’t get me wrong on both sides of the equation – we still have date nights and intentional time together for our relationship, and it is also a huge blessing to spend my Friday nights in prayer and to be a part of Gods kingdom. But it just taught me that the expectations built up from media is different to the realities on the ground, because it takes a level of sacrificing your own personal time, wants and desires to be fruitful for Gods kingdom. Media can really give you a wrong perception of what marriage for dedicated Christians can be like. I would always watch TV shows or films where they’d record the husband and wife going to bed at the same time and switching out the lights to settle down to sleep, and although that happens half the nights of the week the other half will be my husband going into his office to pray or work through the night after he’s had dinner and spent some time with me. Weekends were another one I had commonly seen family members of mine using to spend time with family and therefore their spouses, such as going away on trips, sight-seeing, and days out. However, life in the church is different because your Sundays are dedicated to the Lord gladly as usual, but also every Saturday is dependent on you both for the outreach, visitations, fellowships, and rehearsals. There isn’t an option for somebody else to do it whilst we go on a picnic. If we aren’t there then nothing will happen. That’s the sacrifice to be made when planting a church branch and it’s a beautiful one indeed. Saturday morning, we have some time together to spend on our marriage, but when lunch time hits it’s work mode for the Lord. Then when the best day of the week (Sunday) comes around there’s no more going for food after service with my boo, or pre-church brunch dates. It is up early to set up chairs and speakers and packing away after meetings by carrying boxes to the car and cleaning the room carpets. Again, I have to make it clear so that nobody misinterprets this as complaining – I feel beyond blessed and grateful that this is the life I have, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Of course, I’d be lying if at times when I am tired and finding the work hard that I can wish my life was different or how it was before. But when I reflect and pray, I realise through the Holy Spirit that these opportunities are a huge honour and privilege to be a part of and that without them my life would be dull and lacking purpose. The fun would eventually wear of, and we would begin to feel unsatisfied in life. There is no better activity than working for the Lord and nothing that fills us with so much joy and provides us with plenty of adventure for our married life. Getting to serve God alongside my husband has been the happiest time of my life so far. There have been days we have had to give up entire evenings after long shifts at work to go to our sheep and not get home until well into the night hungry and tired. But the reward that comes with giving for others has filled my heart with so much joy than just living a life according to my own selfish ambitions. God has granted me my hearts desires as I have delighted in Him, and as I have followed His guiding, I have never lacked any good thing. I have never gone without and even when situations can look bleak God has never failed to provide above my expectations. I have really seen the power of scriptures like Matthew 6:33 play out vividly into my life as I have trusted in the decision to follow Jesus and work for the Lord. 

God has always found a way despite what the world may try push you into doing. An advantage I have is that I work part-time alongside my husbands full-time income from his PhD research. Many people have criticised me and made me feel like I can do more ‘work’ for the finances of our home. But above the voices of man I have decided to listen to the voice of God. I am not against women working full-time at all (and who am I to have an opinion on that anyway), and I believe there is seasons where it is appropriate. In the past I have also worked Monday-Friday or spent my holidays working numerous jobs to save money. But I believe that the word of God has given distinct roles for a man, and distinct roles for a wife, and many times when the wife is pressured into taking on more of the mans roles it takes her away from the responsibilities God has given her in the home. I am starting a family where I want to be more present for the care of my children, to have the time to cook and bake from scratch for my family, where I can dedicate hours into giving for others such as our church members and supporting my husband in whatever help he needs in his life. I believe it is what I am called to do and holds a tremendously more amount of value to me than my income job. Realistically of course it means we have less money than if I worked full-time, but God has still managed to provide us with a new build flat, a car, delicious and nutritious food on the table, keeping ourselves presentable, and to be able to enjoy and buy things that we want or would like to have. It may mean sacrificing designer clothes, and not catching flights four times a year, or choosing to eat buffet rather than gourmet, but I have everything that I need in Christ Jesus. If God has called you to do something specific don’t feel as if you have to do what everyone else is doing, or that you have to have a life where you can balance it all, because you’ll burn out and find it hard to give yourself to what God has purposed for your life. It is better to do less and be more effective, than to be overloaded doing everything and grow weary.